Saturday, June 17, 2017

6 Tips For Consuming Less Oil

As the weather gets warm, you've been craving petroleum-based smoothies (who hasn't!?) but did you know that just a single serving can contain as much as 355 milliliters of oil? Ouch! We put together a list that experts swear will help you curb those crude oil cravings. 

  • Give in a little. Let yourself indulge in just a bit of what you're craving. Make yourself a petrol smoothie in a small mason jar or an affogato glass. You won't feel like you're being denied, and it'll look great for your Insta feed!
  • Reward yourself. Every time you avoid sipping on that delectable fossil fuel treat, reward yourself with something small. Let yourself litter that cigarette instead of disposing of it properly. Don't stop at your next stop sign. You deserve it.
  • Reach for a healthy alternative. Make your next smoothie out of endangered tiger meat. You'll feel the difference immediately!
  • Give yourself a cheat day. Choose one day of the week to guzzle down as much petroleum as your filthy throat can handle, you perverted wretch. Then hold that feeling of total depravity over yourself as you go through your week.
  • Encourage yourself in the mirror. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. Every morning, look in the mirror and say to yourself something like, "I can do it!" or, "Go me!" or, "Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! /Nothing beside remains. Round the decay /Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare /The lone and level sands stretch far away."
  • Don't be afraid to use guilt as a motivator. Think about how many dinosaurs died for your petroleum smoothie. Actually, we have to admit, that's kinda cool. 

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